Hint: It’s not rocket science
Feel like no matter what you do, or how hard you work, or how much you try to get ahead, you’re stuck in the same place you’ve been in for what feels like forever?
Read on then because I’ve got some fascinating insight for you that really hit home for me recently.
Going through life as an introvert and insecure person who always looked to others for validation, I spent much of my life in the place of constant struggle. I always hoped that the next job or next certification or next course would be the one that would finally give me the feeling I longed for — the feeling that I’d made it, that I was finally a somebody. I craved to know in the depths of my being, once and for all, a sense of accomplishment and a big fat bank account to go with it.
Sadly, it took many jobs (I’ve left more jobs than anyone else I know), years of anxiety and depression (and therapy), tons of journals filled with inner angst and turmoil, and introspecting like no one’s business to arrive at the conclusion that struggle would likely be my lot in life.
The good news is, I broke that cycle and you can too. I’ve discovered a simple yet incredibly powerful way to change my life and start living it by design rather than default, as the saying goes.
Are you ready for it?
I feel like I’m about to drop a dark brown glass bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy’s Magic Life Elixir in front of you. You ready?
Before I go on, let me ask you this; what price would you pay for said magic elixir?
If what I’m about to share with you is a guaranteed way to succeed at life — quite possibly the one thing that you were missing out on to make all your dreams come true — what ends would you be willing to go to for it?
Maybe a better question would be; what price have you already paid? Mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, relationally (is that even a word?) in pursuit of your best life? What opportunities and experiences have you missed out on while you were lost in the misery of constant drudgery?
Ok, enough with the drama…
Here it is.
This is how I went from the biggest misfit on the Island of Misfit Toys to succeeding at my life.
I dealt with my shit.
Every. Single. Day.
That, my friends, is the secret to living your best life.
You deal with your shit.
Everyday things come up, whether it’s big things (someone says something or does something that triggers some deeply buried — or not so buried — childhood trauma and you get crushed into the boards of this game of life and crumple to the ground in the fetal position) or little things (like your spouse’s obliviousness to household clutter that ends up being the last straw in a seemingly endless run of unprocessed emotional baggage you’re both carrying), it all needs to be dealt with.
(Note: I’m speaking from experience on both big and little so no judgement. Trauma is brutal to face and process and my heart goes out to you if you’re dealing with your own demons.)
I never said this was easy, I said it wasn’t rocket science. Although, we are complicated beings, I’ll give you that.
The whole reason we’ve buried stuff in the first place is because it’s traumatized us at some point in our life. The thing is, that experience (whatever it is that happened to you) likely occurred years ago and you’re still reliving it on a daily basis. Even if you’re not consciously thinking about it, it’s either playing in the back of your mind or running on a subconscious level and messing you up royally in the life you’re now trying to live.
Which is why you feeling like you’re stuck in place and spinning your wheels. Nothing you do externally will ever alleviate this cycle. Not the new job, new spouse or new car. You may get a brief break from the struggle, but if you’ve not dealt with the underlying issue, it won’t be long before you’re back to feeling like something’s missing. This work is INTERNAL.
You have to have the courage and tenacity to keep dealing with your shit as it comes up, every single time.
This is the way to your best life.
I’ve been through years of therapy, on and off meds (med free for a couple of years now), tried CBT, RRT and LMNOP. I’m mostly anxiety free (which is huge for someone diagnosed with general anxiety and social anxiety) and when I do experience mild anxiety I know I’ve done it to myself with the thoughts I’m thinking. I then I turn to the tools that help me deal with my shit and dismantle the crappy thoughts.
My best go-to’s for disrupting limiting thought patterns:
- The Work by Byron Katie — Simple and incredibly effective and it’s based on 4 questions.
2. Louise Hay — If you’re serious about getting yourself sorted out, I highly recommend, the book and/or the movie, You Can Heal Your Life.
3. Insight Timer Meditation App — The best for people with a brain that never stops because there’s a million free guided visualizations and meditations, which I find helps to stop the mind chatter. You need to learn how to find your zen, especially if you’re someone that’s always in GO mode.
(I’m not linked or affiliated to any of the above, I just believe in sharing what works.)
Final thoughts…
- You are not your shit. The baggage you carry, the demons you hide from. You are not defined by — or limited to — what you’ve endured in this lifetime or labels you’ve worn. You have shit. That’s all. You’re not alone, we all have it.
- The stuff you don’t talk about — that’s the shit you need to deal with because it’s the one thing keeping you from living your damn life.
- You are a deserving of love, acceptance, peace and joy. You deserve to be happy and healthy — mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, personally and financially.
- YOU ARE ENOUGH. EXACTLY AS YOU ARE. You just need to believe it.
